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Pastor Chris and Anitha Oyakhilome
The issue of proximity between Christian couples, especially those who are saved and have allow Christ Jesus to be the Lord and Savior of their lives has been an overlooked or ignored. I am talking of proximity not only being together during sleep, eating or going to church but even related to various tangible things that are small but very important in improving the relationships of couples and families in general.
Many Christians have witnessed their marriages encountering tragedies and tried to blame our enemy number one, who is the devil that the Bible descibes him as the father of lies. But if you examine the facts you can see that we ourselves are the source of these problems.
There are good and important things that couples should share in their daily lives but most of them are ashamed and afraid to do so with their partners in life. These things but not other conditions associated with biological, emotional, social and others of the kinds.
Beginning to talk about the biological situation, I would like to touch the issue of rotation of the days of motherhood. This issue is important for both spouses to know how the cycle goes and if there is any change notification is important for a woman to her husband. Before I give the benefit of knowing the trend of those days I had to provide testimony from the boy (name stored) who lives with his wife for nearly two years without knowing the trends of her days.
He was telling me that he was sometimes forced by his wife to get privacy when they have been involved for about four consecutive days and hence got exhausted and needs time to relax for the day.
Also, he was clarifying complaint that the other days he found his wife in a unhappy mood and don't even want to have him around making him feel bad to see married life is not a small paradise in the world as being explained severalservants of God. these are just some of the harm which was due to ignorance about the days of her cycle.
the days' rotation is important for a man because there are days called the days of 'Heat', these are the days when a woman is that she owed much to be close to her husband for privacy (privacy stated in 1 Cor 7). So he knew about this; that giving his wife enough privacy during the 'heat' days will satisfy the soul of his wife. The young man seems to have offered enough privacy for his wife when his wife did not need much, but he provided enough privacy in those days her wife didn't need much.
Similarly, during the 'bleeding', a woman is different and the specific situation arises but the situation is that explained that can accompany anger and pride. This is a condition caused by the hormones of the body, and not her voluntary. So I advice to the young to bear with his wife while she was in those days, in order to maintain their relationships without taking her wrong.
our lesson is to be continued next week, so follow this article for improving relations of the couples. It is important to note that other causes of temptations in marriage is entirely out of the genetic and biological factors, if you follow the continuity of this article, you get the facts.
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UKARIBU NI MUHIMU KATI YA WANANDOA WAKRISTO
Suala la ukaribu kati ya wanandoa Wakristo hasa wale waliookoka na kumfanya Kristo Yesu kuwa ni Bwana na Mwokozi wa maisha yao limekuwa ni la kufumbiwa macho ama kupuuzwa. Ukaribu ninaouzungumzia sio tu wa kuwa pamoja wakati wa kulala, kula ama kwenda kanisani bali ni kuhusiana na mambo mbalimbali yanayoonekana madogomadogo lakini yana umuhimu sana katika hali ya kuboresha mahusiano ya wanandoa na familia kwa ujumla.
Wakristo wengi tumekuwa tukiona ndoa za watumishi wakubwa zikikumbwa na misukosuko na kuanza kumtupia lawama za kwanza adui wetu nambari moja ambaye ni shetani atajwaye na biblia kuwa ni baba wa uongo. Lakini ukichunguza ukweli wa mambo unaweza kuona kuwa sisi wenyewe ndiyo chanzo cha hayo matatizo.
Kuna mambo mazuri na ya muhimu ambayo wanandoa wanapaswa kushirikishana na kujuzana lakini wengi wao huona haya na woga kufanya hivyo kwa wenzi wao wa maisha. Mambo hayo si mengine bali ni yanayohusiana na hali za kibaiolojia, hisia, kijamii na mengine yafananayo na haya.
Nikianza kuzungumzia hali ya kibaiolojia, ningependa nigusie suala la mzunguko wa siku za akina mama. Suala hili ni muhimu kwa wanandoa wote wawili kujua mzunguko unavyoenda na kama kutakuwa na mabadiliko yeyote ni muhimu kwa mwanamke kumtaarifu mumewe. Kabla sijatoa faida za kujua mwenendo wa siku hizo nitoe ushuhuda nilioupata kutoka kwa kijana (jina linahifadhiwa) mmoja aliyeishi na mkewe kwa takribani miaka miwili bila kujua hali ya mwenendo wa siku zake.
Alikuwa ananieleza kuwa alikuwa wakati mwingine analazimishwa na mkewe kupata faragha wakati wakiwa wameshashiriki kwa siku zipatazo nne mfululizo na hivyo kuishiwa nguvu na kuhitaji muda wa kupumzika kwa siku hiyo.
Pia, alikuwa ananitanabaishia malalamiko yake kuwa siku nyingine alikuwa anamkuta mke wake katika hali ya tofauti; yaani kukosa furaha na kutohitaji hata kuwa naye karibu na hivyo kumfanya akwazike na kuona maisha ya ndoa siyo paradiso ndogo iliyo duniani kama wanavyoeleza watumishi wa Mungu mabalimbali.Haya ni baadhi tu ya madhara ambayo aliyapata kutokana na kutojua mzunguko wa siku za mkewe.
Mzunguko wa siku ni muhimu kafahamika kwa mwanaume kwasababu kuna siku zinaitwa siku za ‘heat’; hizi ni siku ambazo mwanamke anakuwa anawiwa sana kuwa karibu na mumewe kwa ajili ya faragha (faragha inayoelezwa kwenye 1kor 7). Hivyo Mwanaume akifahamu kuhusu hili atampatia mkewe faragha ya kutosha na hivyo kutokuwa na tatizo la mwanamke kutafuta faragha nje ya ndoa. Kijana huyo inaonekana kuwa alikuwa anatoa faragha ya kutosha kwa mkewe sikuambazo mkewe hakuhitaji sana, wakati ingefaa zaidi kutoa faragha ya kutosha katika siku zile zinazotakiwa kwa mwanamke.
Vilevile, wakati wa ‘bleeding’, mwanamke huwa na hali Fulani za tofauti lakini hali iliyozoeleka ni ile ya kuwa na hasira inayoweza ambatana na kiburi. Hii ni hali inayosababishwa na mambo ya vichicheo vya mwa mwili, na si uhiyari wake. Hivyo nikamsahuri huyo kijana kuchukuliana na mke wake wakati anapokuwa katika siku hizo, ili kudumisha mahusiano yao na kutomchukulia vibaya.
Somo letu lataendelea wiki ijayo, hivyo fuatilia makala hii kwa ajili ya kuboresha mahusiano kati ya wanandoa. Ni muhimu kufahamu kuwa sababu nyingine za majaribu katika ndoa ni nje kabisa ya maumbile na mambo ya kibaiolojia; hivyo fuatana na mwendelezo wa makala hii upate ukweli wa mambo.
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